Gone are the days when we hear couples either married, single or in a relationship. Now most of the people fit to the group “it’s complicated” whatever that means!
When you are single you don’t depend on anyone to make your decisions. You probably take responsibility for your own actions and face consequences. Most importantly you have no expectations on anyone to be there for you and get disappointed. So life is pretty much uncomplicated.
When you are married, you don’t just share a bed, but everything from happiness to worries with each other. Decisions are made together. Most of the time you come to a conclusion by making compromises, which is much expected. Therefore, still very much uncomplicated.
When in a relationship, you would think it’s pretty simple. Because, two people agree and choose to be with each other. They take time to get to know each other. It’s not a marriage yet, so not everything has to be shared and expected from your partner. But since it’s your own choice to be together, you both get to maintain your own space. Still, sounds pretty uncomplicated.
Then why do so many couples in relationships relate to being “complicated”, I wonder…
“ Women! They are so complicated. I don’t understand them. It’s like I should know what they think before they say it. How would I? Answers a man. ”
“ They make it complicated. I haven’t met a man who seem to know how to say what they feel. Is that so difficult? Answers a woman.”
Both frustrated, I noticed. Both had one thing in common, I noticed that too. Men and women can’t seem to communicate with each other on a level both understands the other. Women talk all the time. They gossip, share, and chitchat.., it’s always nonstop communication and yet there seem to be no misunderstanding between them. Men, on the other hand can spend hours and hours with each other in activities like playing a videogame to watching matches on TV and yet they somehow understand each other’s vibes and communicate rather well. But when it comes to a man and woman communicating with each other, there seems to be a problem, most of the time.
Let’s face it! Both men and women are different. They communicate in different ways as well. The language may be the same, but the use of phrases in conversation is different. The sooner you accept the fact and learn the true meanings, the less complicated your relationship is going to be.
What women really mean when they say;
The calm before the storm. If she says there’s nothing that is worrying her, it usually means something is bugging her and you need to recall everything that you told her to you did, to be prepared for the argument that is coming, or run for life!
That marks an end of an argument or close of a conversation. Normally an argument that begins with nothing ends with a fine. That means she’s right and you need to shut up.
Don’t you dare! Unless you want more problem. That certainly is not a permission to go on with whatever you were talking.
Stay by her side. Hear what she has to say, talk or do whatever she wants. Do whatever, just don’t leave her.
You are in trouble. This either means she knows something about you that could kill the relationship or she wants you to know this is not going to work out for both of you anymore.
In short, believe the opposite, when a woman says something. They are indeed very difficult to understand. But that doesn’t mean men are easier or better. They have their set of phrases that are meant to be understood too.
What men really mean when they say;
What they really mean is, it is not them, and it’s you! And since it’s your fault, don’t blame them.
What it really means is he is in doubt. And that he doesn’t want to share his doubts with you. Give him his space and let him sort his problems on his own.
Later is never going to happen. This means he doesn’t want to talk or listen about it, ever!
Ouch! Nobody would be too busy for a relationship. Most probably he is seeing someone who is better than you, or someone he likes more than you. Walk out and accept it.
Next time, you think you are in a complicated relationship, first make sure you are both communicating the same language.
